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teens
January 2009 
Are we negotiating, arguing, or did I just get manipulated?
Posted on Jan 14th, 2009
by 
Laura
Laura
"Maxx, I said NO".
"But mom," he calmly continues, presenting yet another ingenious point to add to his argument in an attempt to solidify his case for whatever he wants.
My son loves to negotiate.
And he's good at it.
Other parents have even commented on it, sometimes adding the descriptor 'manipulate'', which fortunately, or unfortunately, he's also quite good at.
Good negotiation skills are important to master, and I've encouraged Maxx to develop his skills by inviting him to negotiate. Maxx is quite emotionally intense, and he used to just dissolve into tears or whining when he didn't get what he wanted. As he began to get old enough to understand the concept I told him - whining will get you nothing with me, with your friends, or out in the world. Give me a good reason, and I might change my mind.
Yesterday morning:
Mom, can I have $3.75 for lunch today?
No, I've bought groceries, make your lunch.
But mom....and the arguments began to be presented. I'm hesitant to share with you the series of points he presented because I'm still wondering if he negotiated successfully, or if he just manipulated me into providing him with the money he wanted to buy lunch.
There are times when I say clearly - we are NOT negotiating this, and these are the reasons why....
(this post has yet to be completed - comments on this topic welcomed as I continue to clarify my own thoughts on this :)
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